From: owner-chakram-refugees-digest@smoe.org (chakram-refugees-digest) To: chakram-refugees-digest@smoe.org Subject: chakram-refugees-digest V3 #71 Reply-To: chakram-refugees@smoe.org Sender: owner-chakram-refugees-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-chakram-refugees-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk chakram-refugees-digest Wednesday, March 12 2003 Volume 03 : Number 071 Today's Subjects: ----------------- [chakram-refugees] <> ["Cheryl Ande" > [IfeRae@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 11 Mar 2003 20:36:46 -0500 From: "Cheryl Ande" Subject: [chakram-refugees] <> This is a charming comedy. This isn't the usual farce or slapstick (although we have some dandy pratfalls here). This actually is more of a character comedy. It is also a fine tribute to the talents of Kevin Smith who is utterly charming as the put upon Ares. The story is simple enough. Xena and Gabrielle learn that a whole group of warlords are out to kill Ares. Xena who owes Ares a lot and does have a soft spot for the guy devises a plan. She will hide Ares on her grandparents' farm. From there on the fun is watching Ares try not to adapt to life on the farm. The story is told in a number of comic vignettes. The first that I really liked is Ares's introduction to farm life. Xena and Gabrielle take the reluctant Ares to the farm. The farm has obviously been abandoned for years - it is ramshackle and covered in cobwebs. To Xena, however, it is wonderful. She remembers it as place of a very happy childhood and she sees it through those eyes. Gabrielle is like Martha Stewart seeing and a fixer-upper for the first time, she shares Xena's enthusiasm calling the dilapidated cottage "charming". Only Ares sees the place with objective eyes and he is not happy. His snide remarks go unnoticed by his friends and he just stands in the ruins of the house in stunned disbelief. Finally when Xena pops out of the kitchen calling Gabrielle over to look at the neat stove Ares almost breaks. Looking around at the house he is suppose to live in and probably remembering the marble halls of Olympus, Ares looks like he is just going to burst into tears. It's a great comic moment simply because KS sells the moment so well that you do feel sorry for poor Ares. Ares next big challenge is to try to avoid as much work as possible. Xena and Gabrielle, dressed in their new psuedo country gal outfits, are cleaning whizzes. Ares on the other hand finds it just too hot and tiring to work. After some firm persuasion by Xena he manages to get himself into the house but work still doesn't come easy for him. Indeed the rags he had hidden away have mysteriously disappeared and the fortuitous arrival of Greba, the attractive and exposition spouting neighbor, is a welcomed distraction. Indeed Ares is thrilled, preening and flexing his pecs, he greets Greba with lecherous enthusiasm. Greba seems thrilled to have a handsome neighbor but more importantly she has some to share her news with - the warlords are coming. After delivering her unwelcome news she is off. Xena dashes into the house and emerges in scant seconds dressed in her warrior garb and is off to confront the warlord, Gasgar. At his camp Xena tells him that she wants to kill Ares too. He believes her because Ares has done a lot of terrible things to her but he doesn't need a god-slayer since Ares is mortal. Xena convinces Gasgar that perhaps he will need her in the event that Ares still is a god. That night Gabrielle and Ares are relaxing after a hard day of wok. Gabrielle now sincerely thanks Ares for saving her life on Olympus. Ares is nothing but honest. Yes he saved Eve because if Eve died Xena would have been killed by Athena so he saved Eve to save Xena and Gabrielle - well was just an after thought. A non-plussed Gabrielle is nonetheless thankful. Xena arrives and it is raining. The house is looking good and the fireplace works. Gabrielle says Ares cleaned it but Ares rejects the praise. Gabrielle couldn't get him to work either - she just won't admit it. Then the roof springs a leak right on Ares's head. The house is a sieve. Every room is awash save one - Xena's old bedroom. Here it is nice and dry with a very big bed. Ares says they could all sleep together and Xena, noting that everyone is an adult, reluctantly agrees. So that night the three share a bed. Ares in between the women. Now here's a point to ponder - for the last few seasons we have watched Xena and Gabrielle go to bed in various inns and villages. The girls sleep fully clothed with boots and armor on. Now suddenly when they share a bed with Ares they strip down to their skivvies. Humm what has happened - TPTB want audience titillation or is it really hot in Greece? I actually believe it was plot, probably conceived by Gabrielle, to drive Ares insane. If you notice in this scene Ares seems a bit intimidated by his scantily clad bedmates. I suspect he was read the riot act by Xena about no touching. Thus when a sleeping Gabrielle's hand suddenly lands on a sensitive part of Ares's anatomy, he is not thrilled but absolutely scared witless. Rescued by Xena from Gabrielle's somnolent groping, Ares knows he is for a very long night. That morning Ares is a waken by an irate Xena. Someone has stolen her breastplate. Indeed things have been disappearing from the house for some time. Gabby's boots, Ares's vest (thus making it necessary for Ares to go about are bare-chested - yippee) and there was some speculation there was a ghost about. Xena now is about to kill a ghost and all three join in the hunt. The culprit is soon cornered and he turns out to be a loveable dog. Ares is unfamiliar with the one headed variety and doesn't see the animal's charm. Gabrielle on the other hand is charmed by the dog leading Ares to say that they never agree about anything. Gabrielle then gives a pointed look at the oblivious Xena and Ares says yeah they do agree one thing. The dog on the other hand has found his soul-mate and its the former god of war. Xena and Gabrielle now leave to get supplies. Ares is finally doing some work. He's thatching the roof while an anxious dog watches from below. Suddenly Greba appears and Ares is thrilled. Jauntily he descends the roof making sure Greba sees his muscles and his fine athletic form. When Greba says she likes dogs, Ares loves dogs too. Things hit a snag when Greba mistakes Xena and Gabrielle for Ares's daughters. Why in world she say that? Well he is older, sophisticated and he has gray hair. Ares is stunned - he is older and sophisticated but gray hair - argh mortality is the pits. Greba leaves and Ares goes back to work but it just isn't his day and he falls through the roof to the floor below. There Xena finds him lying on his back covered in thatch with an enthusiastic dog trying to French kiss the God of War. Xena and Gabrielle have returned from town with farm animals. A despondent Ares gets a lift when Xena sends him off to kill a chicken for dinner. As Ares and his dog rush off to do the fowl murder. Gabrielle and Xena have a sensitive chat about how Xena loves the house because it has such warm memories for her. Before things get too serious the gals are distracted by Ares having a really tough time killing the run-away chickens. Things however turn even worse when Gregas troops are spied riding up to the farm. In the house a quick changing Xena is being laced into her warrior outfit by Gabrielle. Xena tells Gabrielle and Ares to stall while she thinks up a plan and she leaves. The troops are now in the front yard and demanding that the owners show themselves. Gabrielle tries to get Ares to go out but he has to prepared himself. So it is up to Gabrielle. Still dressed in her Daisy Mae costume, she rips open her blouse and goes out to distract an army. Ares is impressed. Gabrielle is in full southern hussy mode - she's is flirting her head off and the captain of the troops is just thrilled. Then suddenly Ares emerges from the house - he is the picture of the hayseed farmer - blacked out teeth and his shirt stuffed with hay. He orders his harlot wife back into the house. The captain then asks if he has seen any mysterious strangers - Ares can't just lie he has to have an attitude and gets beaten for his trouble. Just then Xena arrives. She stops the beating but then the captain asks her to put the pinch on farmboy. Xena is reluctant, Ares is reluctant, but the captain is practically jumping up and down in his anticipation to see the farmer's noise gush blood. Xena finally puts the pinch on Ares and the unexpected happens. The dog bits Xena on the butt. Xena is furious and Ares stops fooling around and says that he has seen a stranger heading for the Horrata pass. Xena says it was Ares and they are off. Gabrielle emerges from the house and gives Ares a critique of his performance - - too much attitude for a farmer. Ares disagrees his character would be upset if his wife was about to do a company of soldiers. Gabrielle defends her acting choice - no she was just playing with her character. Well says Ares her choice says a lot about her. Before Gabrielle can answer Xena returns and flings her charkrum at the dog that bit her. Ares picks up the dog and says not to throw things at his dog - the only one who defended him by-the-way. Ares huffs off with Horace, his newly named dog. Gabrielle is astonished that Ares has bonded with the dog but Xena is pragmatic - Ares was a god and the dog is just his new worshipper. A little later that day Xena and Gabrielle are milking cows and having a spirited discussion about milking techniques. Ares is watching in amusement with his new buddy in his lap. Suddenly they have visitor - a visitor Horace runs from. It is a traveling salesman looking for his lost dog - a dog that bears a striking resemblance to Horace. Ares says he hasn't seen the dog but the salesman sees the fleeing Horace and gives chase. A sad Ares watches whispering "run, Horace, run." Sometime later the same salesman along with Horace run across Gasgar. They notice the dog gnawing on Ares gauntlet. The salesman tells them the dog found it on a farm near-by. The bad guys now know they were duped by Xena. Meanwhile back on the farm Greba shows up again. She announces that the warlords have turned around and are headed for the farm. Xena sends the talkative neighbor away. She and Gabrielle are off again. Xena confronts Gasgar in his tent. Gasgar says that he knows Xena has tricked him and he wants to know why. Suddenly an irate Gabrielle arrives. She is the picture of a scorned lover - she announces that Xena is in love with Ares. Gasgar is appalled after all Ares has done to Xena - that's disgusting ( the attitude taken by non Ares-Xena romance fans). Gabrielle agrees and she chest butts Xena (with a clang). Then the two start tossing the warlord's possessions at one another. Gabrielle shouts that Ares is headed for some caves. Now the two women are fighting in earnest - Gasgar and his captain make a hasty retreat. When they are out of ear-shout a very happy Xena and Gabrielle congratulate themselves on their successful plan. Ares is waiting for Xena and Gabrielle to return. To his happy relief Horace joins him. Soon Gabrielle and Xena arrive. Gabrielle says the warlords are off to some cave. Ares says isn't that where a six headed monster lives. Gabrielle corrects him no it has seven heads and none of them are happy. Xena says Ares can stay on the farm but Ares says farm life isn't for him. He may stay until he runs out of chickens but that is it. Xena say if stays he may find peace and she might just visit him. Then it looks to Ares he might get a kiss from Xena but he just gets a enthusiastic check pinch. Xena and Gabrielle ride off with Xena observing that when she was child on that farm she was loved. She was luck then and she is lucky now. This episode was a wonderful vehicle for Kevin Smith. He was just a wonderful comic actor - he had a great sense of the ridiculous and yet he never losses his humanity. His Ares is both exasperating and charming and you can understand why both Xena and Gabrielle go out their way to help their old nemesis. Ares is the quintessential fish out of water - stuck in the mortal world he is doing his level best to cope and not doing a great job of it. Xena and Gabrielle just feel sorry for him and they owe him big time so they have to help him. The fact he is lazy and vain doesn't help any but they try their best. I think these three characters in spite of themselves like each other. Ares loves Xena and I think he has grown to respect Gabrielle. Xena has always been attracted to Ares and she knows he sacrificed a lot for her. Gabrielle now knows Ares has no real hold over Xena anymore so she is content to help the guy who saved her even if it was an after thought. The supporting actors were all pretty good. Charmaine Guest as Greba did her expositions with flighty abandon. Kirk Torrance as Gasgar's captain was very good as the thug who thought he was going to get lucky with Gabrielle and see the pinch all in the same day. Special praise goes to Horace. This dog had personality and good looks. I wish he could have stuck around. I would have liked to have seen Ares get a sidekick - it would have been nifty to see Ares once he got his godhood back still with Horace. The one good thing to come from mortality. Next week back to the Amazons and ROC gets to direct. CherylA ========================================================= This has been a message to the chakram-refugees list. To unsubscribe, send a message to majordomo@smoe.org with "unsubscribe chakram-refugees" in the message body. Contact meth@smoe.org with any questions or problems. ========================================================= ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 11 Mar 2003 20:41:47 -0500 From: "Cheryl Ande" Subject: Re: [chakram-refugees] Re: chakram-refugees-digest V3 #68 - ----- Original Message ----- From: "cr" > > There is a big difference between arranged marriages and marriages of > convenience, I think. Marriages of convenience are usually - umm, > convenient - for both parties. I imagine sometimes that continues after > many marriages arrived at in the usual way have collapsed. It would be > interesting to know the statistics, though probably impossible to collect. > Well since they are marriages with probably low expectations I would assume they would be successful as long as they stay convienent > ... puts 'Paradise by the dashboard light' on the stereo and leans back to > listen Oh one of my favorite albums and a cynical commentary about love to boot. Cheryl ========================================================= This has been a message to the chakram-refugees list. To unsubscribe, send a message to majordomo@smoe.org with "unsubscribe chakram-refugees" in the message body. Contact meth@smoe.org with any questions or problems. ========================================================= ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 11 Mar 2003 22:38:59 EST From: IfeRae@aol.com Subject: Re: [chakram-refugees] <> In a message dated 3/11/2003 5:34:35 PM Pacific Standard Time, cande@sunlink.net writes: > Gabrielle and Xena have a > sensitive chat about how Xena loves the house because it has such warm > memories for her. I seem to recall getting a little misty -eyed during this scene. I think Gabrielle said something about enjoying good moments/memories while you can. Perhaps I was projecting my own feelings, but it seemed it was also Lucy/Renee savoring this warm duet, as they prepared for the rigrous wind-down of the series. At any rate, I truly enjoyed watching them and Kevin have so much fun. As you say, Kevin was wonderful. This ep was a wonderful showcase of his range. It's one of the few I can watch without a slight twinge, as I'm so caught up in how alive and human he is in this performance. - -- Ife ========================================================= This has been a message to the chakram-refugees list. To unsubscribe, send a message to majordomo@smoe.org with "unsubscribe chakram-refugees" in the message body. Contact meth@smoe.org with any questions or problems. ========================================================= ------------------------------ End of chakram-refugees-digest V3 #71 *************************************