From: owner-basia-digest@smoe.org (basia-digest) To: basia-digest@smoe.org Subject: basia-digest V4 #172 Reply-To: basia@smoe.org Sender: owner-basia-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-basia-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk X-To-Unsubscribe: Send mail to "basia-digest-request@smoe.org" X-To-Unsubscribe: with "unsubscribe" as the body. basia-digest Wednesday, August 25 1999 Volume 04 : Number 172 Today's Subjects: ----------------- At Home With Basia - Episode 1 Part 1 Of 3 :) ["Ray Navarra" ] Basia CDROMs [lianzen@netzero.com] Ray--the screenwriter! ["Joe Palcher" ] Re: At Home With Basia: Episode 1 Part 3 Of Three (Which Means Last :) [J] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 09:09:49 +0200 From: "Ray Navarra" Subject: At Home With Basia - Episode 1 Part 1 Of 3 :) Hey all, if you love Hyacinth Bouquet, you will hate this. If you love Basia, you will flame me. Why am I sending this? Oh God. Please forgive my horrible English... at least don't flame me for my grammar. AT HOME WITH BASIA Episode 1 In Three Parts Part 1... SCENE 1. BASIA'S HOME, Basia and Kevin are still in bed. Kevin tries to sleep while Basia is writing a song. BASIA: A young Polish girl... young Polish lady... good behaved English man... stars shine in the sky... no. What am I doing wrong? Hmm, that's a title. What am I doing wrong, I'm just singing a song, a little Polish samba, the day is... Oh. Oh. Kevin, wake up, it's late already, it's eight o'clock. What rhymes with samba? KEVIN: Sleep... zzz... BASIA: No it doesn't. You're sometimes so unthoughtful... (the phone rings) BASIA: Oooohhh! I'll have to wake and pick the phone! This must be someone important! (Basia runs frantically to pick up the phone, kicking Kevin in the very area that God created to be treated much nicer...) BASIA: The Trzetrzelewska residence, lady of the house speaking! Uhhmm? Yes, I will pay for the connection. KEVIN: (suddenly feeling much less pain) Oh no! If it's Mikolaj, tell him we don't have any more spare money! BASIA: (not paying attention) Mikolaj...! How great to hear you! You and your momma have such a special connection. No, Kevin isn't listening, you may talk. (affectionately) How great it is that such a great gentleman as you still wants to talk to his mommy without anyone listening. What is it, honey? (becoming sadder) Oh, you need 50 pounds... (serious) Mikolaj, I really hope you don't spend all the money on the girls. Oh, you and your friend Julian aren't interested in girls? Oohh, that's great. I feel so much easier hearing this. Of course daddy will send you money. Bye, bye. KEVIN: (rolls his eyes in disgust) SCENE 2. DANNY'S HOME, the phone is ringing. Danny tries to pick up the phone then suddenly... DANNY: Oh no! Maybe it's Basia! Oh no, oh no, God, please tell me it's not Basia. Just when I got rid of her... (picks the phone and speaks silently) Hell-lllooo...? BASIA: Danny! So good to hear you! Tea at ten! DANNY: Oh Basia, no, I will be very busy! BASIA: Oh it's so great you can come! I expect you at ten! Bu-bye! [cut to Basia's home] BASIA: (to Kevin) Poor Danny, he's so affected by my physique. He'll come, he said he'll be delighted. KEVIN: Did he really say that? BASIA: Well, I'm sure he wanted to say that. Now, what should I wear? KEVIN: You look great in whatever this is you wear now. BASIA: Oh, honey. You're so much unthoughtful. Danny loves me so much that I do have to wear something special for him. We meet so rarely now when he's always busy with those other singers. I wonder how is it possible I never heard any of their music. Nevermind. Will I look good in this? You will wear your kilt, of course. KEVIN: Nooo...! Why?! BASIA: We don't want to make poor Danny scared, do we. You know how gentle he is and you're such a big man, so if you wear a kilt he might feel like you were... a little bit *less* imposing. KEVIN: (angrily) But I don't want to wear a kilt. BASIA: (not listening) Are you, honey? That's sweet. The green one, no... the red one... mind you, was the paper boy here today? KEVIN: I don't think so. (puts on the kilt) BASIA: I put an ad saying that me and Danny will be recording a new album together. The fans would be very disappointed if they missed it. Now, please, go to the front door and check if the paper boy was here. KEVIN: (wakes and goes towards the door) BASIA: Tss, tss, tss! Honey! Stop! KEVIN: What is it? BASIA: We don't want the neighbours to see you in the kilt, honey. Wear something more decent. A suit. KEVIN: To go to pick a paper? BASIA: (rolling her eyes) Of course, honey. You'll look very distinguished. [Part 2 will follow...] (-) Ray [::: come.to/raynavarra ::: www.mp3.com/raynavarra ::::::::::::::::::::::::] Number one this week: Lou Bega "Mambo no. 5" ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 13:00:48 +0200 From: "Ray Navarra" Subject: At Home With Basia Episode 1, Part 2 Of Three :) AT HOME WITH BASIA Episode 1 In Three Parts Part 2... SCENE 3. BASIA'S KITCHEN, Danny sitting on one of the chairs, looking at his cup with sadness and resignation on his face. Basia is making the coffee. BASIA: Oh honey, it's so great you agreed to record one more album with me. It will be such a great record! The fans will love it! DANNY: (mutters to himself) Yeah, and I'll kill myself. BASIA: It's so fabulous. We both are so much musical, we communicate so good... DANNY: (as before) That is, you communicate and I do what I'm told. BASIA: ...we have such a strong musical taste, everybody will love the album. DANNY: Will you tell your mailing list you're recording the new album? BASIA: Nooo! How could I do this! It would be so... so... I forgot this English word, but it wouldn't be something that a good lady does. Biscuit? DANNY: Yes! (tries to get one when Basia suddenly takes the plate from him. Danny tries to reach for it and accidentally spills the coffee) Ohhh! Basia, I'm so sorry! BASIA: (looking at him with murder in her eyes) Don't worry Danny. It wasn't a very expensive mug. Only a *quite* expensive one. And the table won't be hurt. Too much. Only a little. I'm sure someone with a less acquired taste than me and everyone I know wouldn't even notice. (the phone rings) Please, do something about this mess! I have to pick up the phone, this will be someone very important! (runs to the phone, leaving Danny with tears in his eyes, looking at the broken cup) BASIA: (breathing heavily) Rachel! Why are you calling? Has something happened? If it's Mikolaj, don't tell me. Or tell me. I can stand the pain. It's not Mikolaj? Oh good heavens, why are you telling me it's Mikolaj then? Right. Yes, Danny is here, he just spilled the coffee over my best table. (cut to Danny, who bites his nails, trying to hide somewhere) BASIA: No, no, you know that I am the last person to make a fuss over something of such a small importance. Yes, it was one of my favourite cups. I bought them a year ago and until today the set was complete. I must have been crazy to give him one of my favourite cups. But Rachel, I think you wanted something, why don't you tell me what is it? Oh, we don't have more money? Oh. That's bad. I'll talk to Danny and we'll do the album very quickly like we always do. Yeah, two weeks, maximum three. Bye! (hangs the phone) Danny, it was Rachel, my assistant, the one with the new Mercedes, sauna and room for a pony! Did I tell you about Rachel? DANNY (mutters) Frequently. I met Rachel twice. BASIA: Have you? It's so sweet. So, Rachel married this bank accountant and they're really happy now, Rachel is my assistant and I keep all my accounts in the bank where her husband works, you know, just the friendly tittle tattle. DANNY: Tittle tattle? BASIA: (amused) Don't Englishmen say so? Tittle-tattl-eerm. Biscuit? DANNY: (scared) Oh no, no! Thank you, Basia! BASIA: We have to do an album really quickly, because Rachel says that the fans demand it really bad. You know, of course the money isn't the reason because such a worldwidely famous star as me has loadsa money, it's just that I love my fans so much. I'd give them an album every month if Kevin wasn't so lazy. He never wants to help me writing a song, he's so unlike you, I love working with you, because we have such a strong mental connection. When you don't break my cups, that is. They were a 24 piece matching set, by the way, oh I don't know why am I telling you this, you know I'm the last person to make fuss of such a small thing. DANNY: (bites his lip trying not to cry and laugh at the same time) BASIA: (not noticing) I wrote a song today, it's called "Missing My Mom And Dad" and it's about missing my mom and dad. You have to write music for it, dear. Will you do it until 12? We could get into the studio and record it. I'll call the musicians and tell Kevin to prepare. Thank you! Oh, how great a couple we are, musically of course. DANNY: But I-I won't... BASIA: I'll go call everyone! Part 3 follows... (-) Ray [::: come.to/raynavarra ::: www.mp3.com/raynavarra ::::::::::::::::::::::::] Number one this week: Lou Bega "Mambo no. 5" ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 15:28:50 +0200 From: "Ray Navarra" Subject: At Home With Basia: Episode 1 Part 3 Of Three (Which Means Last :) AT HOME WITH BASIA Episode 1 In Three Parts Part 3... SCENE 4. THREE YEARS LATER, Basia enters the kitchen in a robe. Kevin is sitting at the table, enjoying the quiet breakfast. BASIA: Ooooooooohhhh!!!! KEVIN: (drops some of the cornflakes on himself) Basia! You scared me! What happened? BASIA: I noticed that three years ago I promised Rachel that we would finish the album in few weeks! KEVIN: Maybe you should start recording it now? BASIA: It's a great idea actually. I would do it long ago if Danny didn't step on my silver coffee cup. He destroyed it totally and I only have 11 of them now. He's sometimes so messy... But it was three years ago, I'll call him and tell him I accept his apology. (goes to the phone) SCENE 5. DANNY'S HOUSE, Danny talks to Peter. DANNY: I'm so happy. Every day since I stepped on this cup, I wake up a happy man. I tell myself "Look! Sun is shining", even if it's raining, "she won't sing at you anymore! You're a free man!" PETER: (laughing) I'm so glad everything's fine. I'll be leaving now. DANNY: (hears phone ringing) Wait a moment, I'll go with you. I'm going to the park today, to sing with the birds and look at kids playing in a Basia free world. (picks up the phone) Tra-la-laaaa... a aaaaa... ah... hello Basia. PETER: (jumps in horror) [cut to Basia's home] BASIA: Danny! So good to hear you after all this time! I call to tell you I forgot that you steped on my silver cup from the matching set of 36 pieces that Mikolaj bought for me on my 40th birthday. He's such a caring young man. KEVIN: (shouts from the kitchen) I paid for it! BASIA: (puts her hand on the receiver so Danny won't hear) Of course you have. Where do you expect our son would get so much money? He's still momma's little boy. KEVIN: He's 23 now! BASIA: (singing) I have you, a lover and a friend, you are something I forgot, this lyric is too long... Oh Danny hello, I'm so sorry you had to wait. Kevin wanted something, you know, the men are always like this. Oh, you don't know that men are always like this? Really. Oh Danny, I would never say you are gay, not even because you look like you were gay, no, no. Let's have, say, tea at 12. You'll be there! Good! Bring Peter with you! Bye! [cut to Danny's] DANNY: (looks twice older. Puts the phone down) Oh God. You don't know what you've got till it's gone, as Joni said. Five minutes ago I was a happy man and now I'm a closet queen who's invited for tea. PETER: Don't worry, it won't be that bad. DANNY: You're invited too. PETER: WHAT?! How could you... how... why?! Tell her I won't come. DANNY: It's too late, she already thinks you accepted. PETER: I'll call her and tell her I won't be able to come. (dials the number) Basia? It's Peter. I... yes, Basia. Yes, Basia. Yes. Yes. At 12. Yes. Bye. (to Danny) Don't even _dare_ to say anything. DANNY: (smiles shyly) SCENE 6. DANNY AND PETER sit in Basia's kitchen, both looking very miserable. Basia stands nearby. BASIA: Of course, Danny, don't worry you broke a cup. Again. You don't do it very frequently, only every time you come for tea. Actually, I start to think you might be doing it on purpose. PETER: It might be of Freudian reasons. BASIA: Freudian...?! I'm sure Danny is too well behaved to have any Freudian reasons. (frowns) Freudian. What an awful idea. So the recording starts tomorrow! How great! I'm so glad you both agreed to participate! DANNY: (to Peter, quietly) Sting doesn't even know how lucky he was, not to accept her invitation to do a song together. They'd be doing the fifth album now. PETER: Unless Sting committed suicide. (their eyes lighten up) Actually, this option is still open... DANNY: Now, where're the cups, I need to break somethin'. - - - - - So, how did you like the first episode of At Home With Basia? Now you know the true reasons why: - Danny always looks so miserable - Basia albums are released so rarely (because apparently Danny always knocks some of Basia's beloved cups) - Kevin wears kilt - Mikolaj has no girlfriend (apparently Basia is the last person in the world who doesn't know it) ;) OK, let the flames begin. Let them begin! (I think I'll unsubscribe for few weeks now.) (-) Ray [::: come.to/raynavarra ::: www.mp3.com/raynavarra ::::::::::::::::::::::::] Number one this week: Lou Bega "Mambo no. 5" ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 09:54:21 -0400 From: "Paul Fish" Subject: Re: At Home With Basia: Episode 1 Part 3 Of Three (Which Means Last :) Well, let me be the first to say that this was very original. But I wonder if everybody on this list will understand that it's a take-off on "Keeping Up Appearances" and not just a nasty slap at our beloved Polish Diva? Ray, you are gonna get flamed - for sure! Or should that be "more fired than flamed"? I thought it was kinda funny. I love "K.U.P.". Now I know who Basia, Kevin and Danny are supposed to be - but who would you have as her sisters and Onslow (is that how you pronounce his name? I can't remember?) Can't wait for the next installment. But I will most likely be in the minority, so as yo say - let the flaming begin. - --- "Stay sane inside insanity." - Columbia, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" PAUL S. FISH flwarmer@earthlink.net http://members.ebay/aboutme/flwarmer/ ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 11:31:58 -0700 (PDT) From: Leslie Brown Subject: Just a quickie... :) ...cause I've gotta get to work. More on "Hyacinth" later. ;) Well, I finally got up the guts to email Bluey Maunick. For those of you who haven't been following, I've been fascinated by the fact that the Incognito website has a guestbook which Bluey and Maysa really do answer. So anyway, I sounded like a moron I'm sure, but he did answer me. Joy! I had to ask (after falling over myself with fan-like cheesy comments, all of which were sincere) if when the Detroit show hits, if my heroes Kevin, Fayyaz, and Chris would be in the lineup (they aren't now). The man Bluey said that they actually have a new trumpeter named Dominic something and that Ed Jones would be on sax and Fayyaz would indeed be on tromb. (one out of three ain't bad). Then he wished me peace always! (*verklempt*) What IS my point? Well, maybe they have some other projects going on, if you know what I mean. Maybe they are preparing for a whole other set of live shows. Who knows, but if Kevin isn't with Incog, something is definitely up. It could mean nothing. Or it could mean a lot. Kinda Zen, like that. - --Leslie (I type very fast, so yes, it WAS quick!) __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Bid and sell for free at http://auctions.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 15:17:44 -0700 From: lianzen@netzero.com Subject: Basia CDROMs Hi, Sorry for sounding impatient but, when will the Basia CDROMs be available? And for how much? Will the videos be better quality (less blocky) than the website realaudio clips? Will you reconsider and add the Promises video, the song that made Basia? Lianzen lianzen@netzero.com ________________________________________________________ NetZero - We believe in a FREE Internet. Shouldn't you? Get your FREE Internet Access and Email at http://www.netzero.net/download/index.html ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 22:07:55 -0400 From: "Joe Palcher" Subject: Ray--the screenwriter! Ray, your story is fabulous! I loved it! I hardly imagine Basia acting in that way, but hell, this is only fiction. I think Basia herself would get quite a kick out of it. I hope there are more editions of the story in the future! It definitely adds something new and different to the list. In regards to what was said sometime before at how often we listen to our grand diva--I guess that I am lucky in that I usually get to hear Basia once or twice a day on my company's cable music PA system. Other than that I don't listen to her albums on a regular basis. I definitely don't want to overload on her music--but yet, how could that be possible? :) Maybe I think I will appreciate her music more if I take fewer bites here and there. Anyway, she is one of my two Grand Divas (the other one being Vanessa Wiliams), and she'll always be. Same thing with another favorite act of mine--the Pet Shop Boys. I don't listen to them that often anymore. I guess I am waiting for their new album to come out in the States. But they have been my favorite band since 1988. I love everything that they come out with, and to me they'll always be one of the most talented bands out there. But I don't have to listen to them everyday to prove that to myself. Oh! I have a Basia moment to report on. I was at Union Station, a bar in Columbus, OH, last Saturday night. This is kind of a video bar, sort of--always playing videos on these large screens. And guess what video happened to play? "Yearning!" I totally didn't expect it, but was definitely happy that it was played. It helped make my night! Everyone, take care! raburabu joe ******************************************************************** Joe Palcher jjpalcher@msn.com ICQ#461853 Japanese English Gem (seen on a billboard for Poccari Sweat, a Japanese soft drink, at Kyoto Station in Japan) "Body Request" (Sounds like the drink is requesting bodies, not that the body requests the drink) ******************************************************************** ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 23:48:59 EDT From: JPovlock@aol.com Subject: Re: At Home With Basia: Episode 1 Part 3 Of Three (Which Means Last :) I think the whole thing was freakin' hysterical!!!! Jim P. ------------------------------ End of basia-digest V4 #172 ***************************