From: owner-basia-digest@smoe.org (basia-digest) To: basia-digest@smoe.org Subject: basia-digest V3 #201 Reply-To: basia@smoe.org Sender: owner-basia-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-basia-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk X-To-Unsubscribe: Send mail to "basia-digest-request@smoe.org" X-To-Unsubscribe: with "unsubscribe" as the body. basia-digest Friday, September 18 1998 Volume 03 : Number 201 Today's Subjects: ----------------- THE COPERNICAN CHRONICLES: If only we could see... ["Ashoke S. Talukdar" ] Re: THE COPERNICAN CHRONICLES: If only we could see... [Whipple930@aol.c] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 13:06:21 -0400 From: "Ashoke S. Talukdar" Subject: THE COPERNICAN CHRONICLES: If only we could see... It's all a matter of perception, I say. Mike-of-the-Spice-fame chose exception to Herr Bakers's personal summary of William Hazlitt. But I have to wonder. Rude to who? Hazlitt is too dead to care. Meg is too intelligent to care. And Herr Baker, is ... well, Herr Baker. Besides, Hazlitt and Shakespeare were ordinary people too... __________________________________________________________________________ A long time ago, my mother made a very cogent observation that will stay with me forever. She said that the key to a good friendship is knowing the right distance to maintain. I take some joy in reflecting on the many wonderful friendships I have experienced and continue to experience over the years. Indeed the best ones are those where I don't necessarily iteract with the people involved on a regular basis. Perhaps, this is a mutual philosophy, in the sense, that these types of friendship don't need constant nurturing to succeed. It is, however, interesting to reflect on the contents of our friendships with other "ordinary people" like ourselves. One of my dearest friends once said that friendships are grounded on some form of attraction (not to be confused with a physical attraction). I believe she was referring to what is indeed a necessary ingredient to starting a friendship - a captivating impression. Indeed, most often there is a specific quality about a person that captures our attention, which prompts a friendship in the first place. But then comes the question of distance. "Ordinary People" presents a very insightful, thought-provoking proposition about the person who might be sitting next to you on the subway, or behind you at a check-out line, by presenting the chilling possibility - IF ONLY WE COULD SEE. The irony of it is that often relationships are troubled BECAUSE we begin to see - but see only in the context of our own boundaries. This is an odd dilemna for the essential gregariousness of human nature. We are quintessential pack animals that need the company of others to reinforce the spatial and temporal definitions of our existence, but are woefully territorial at the same time. Hence, more often than not, once the boundary is defined, we seem to want to withdraw into it, and remove from it, the very context that defined it - other "ordinary people". I think Basia raises a singularly poignant question. What WOULD the world be like when seen through other people's eyes? In her context, perhaps the "understanding of the hearts" is lingusistic construct that prevents the metaphor from getting mixed, but it indeed is a brilliant metaphor, should one want to view the heart as the essential definition of who we are. In that definition, the heart IS the binding substance our "ordinary" lives. Theorizing about the number of relationships that seem to ride on the rocks these days, a television spokesman stated that the reason was perhaps that our current lives have become so complex that intellectual cohabitation has become an overwhelming responsibility - there are kids to pick up from school, dinner to prepare, and while one does the tax returns, the other picks up the groceries and cuts the grass, all just in time to sit down for a quick familial strategy meeting - dinner. And then, we human ants are expected to go back to the complexity of our seemingly extra-ordinary existence with clockwork efficiency. Perhaps this is too much pressure to put on a friendship which presupposes physical coexistence. However, Basia states a different explanation for the perils of our ordinary lives, albeit less explicitly. I think "ordinary" is a valuable quality. Perhaps the reason for our relational hurdles is not the pressures of complexity, but this aspect of distance that such complexity necessarily disallows - distance that is vital to the perception of our "ordinary" qualities, because that time which is spent apart, is spent entirely and relentlessly on mundane tasks and we never have the opportunity to think about other people in isolation, wherein much fondness resides. By denying ourselves of the this opportunity to miss their presence, we lose sight of their wonderful "ordinariness". What could be a better way to relate to each other, than through the unsung virtues of our ordinary lives? Peace, Ashoke. ________________________________________________________________ Ashoke S. Talukdar | When the darkness takes you talukdar@morph.ebme.cwru.edu | with her hand across your face Home : 216-381-5872 | Don't give in too quickly Imaging Lab : 216-368-8812 | Find the things she's erased MetroHealth : 216-778-8987 | Find the line, find the face Pager : 216-670-5872 | Through the grain... Cellular : 216-317-7079 | Fax : 216-368-4969 | Suzanne Vega ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 23:22:31 EDT From: Whipple930@aol.com Subject: Re: THE COPERNICAN CHRONICLES: If only we could see... I was referring to the fact that baker was the rude one. The victim here is all the people on the list that saw his insightful report. So, I believe that he was rude to all the rest of us. Even you. Mike ------------------------------ End of basia-digest V3 #201 ***************************