From: owner-avalon-digest@smoe.org (avalon-digest) To: avalon-digest@smoe.org Subject: avalon-digest V3 #107 Reply-To: avalon@smoe.org Sender: owner-avalon-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-avalon-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk avalon-digest Tuesday, May 5 1998 Volume 03 : Number 107 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: [AVALON] Contest #77: In Every Dream Home A Bad Curtain [ASchulberg <] Re: [AVALON] Bryan's audition tape [ASchulberg ] Re: [AVALON] Re: ["Graham Howard" ] Re: [AVALON] Roxy Music - The Greatest ["Sara Kerr" ] Re: [AVALON] Re: [Rex Estorffe ] Re: [AVALON] Re: ["Graham Howard" ] [AVALON] first contest contestant!!!!! [Heather Marie Propes ] Re: [AVALON] Re: [David Fairley ] Re: [AVALON] Re: [Rex Estorffe ] Re: [AVALON] first contest contestant!!!!! [Dawndalian ] Re: [AVALON] first contest contestant!!!!! [Frank and Liz Smith ] Re: [AVALON] Re: [David Fairley ] Re: [AVALON] Re: [David Fairley ] [AVALON] Contest #77 (N)--First Recap [JVapor7 ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 06:08:00 EDT From: ASchulberg Subject: Re: [AVALON] Contest #77: In Every Dream Home A Bad Curtain In a message dated 98-05-03 13:01:23 EDT, you write: << Think of him as the "coyote of Avalon." Every once in a while he takes a victim, but mostly he just stays up in the mountains and howls at the moon. >> Oh, excellent characterization, Heather. I'm sure Jimmy would agree. Arnie ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 06:07:56 EDT From: ASchulberg Subject: Re: [AVALON] Bryan's audition tape <> I have tix to see the Frippster and ProjeKCt Two in Pittsburgh on June 1st. However, the chances of getting near the man, addressing him and getting an answer are EXTREMELY REMOTE. I'd probably have a better chance of getting Bryan to sing the National Anthem at a Pirate game. But, if I get the chance I'll ask. Hell, Bobby's working the archives pretty heavily right now with plenty of boxed set releases. Bryan's audition tape would be a true highlight on a rarities and oddities release. Arnie ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 08:32:39 +0500 From: "Graham Howard" Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: > From: ASchulberg > Date: Sat, 2 May 1998 07:49:17 EDT > To: avalon@smoe.org > Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: > Reply-to: avalon@smoe.org > > > << Rolf Harris on guest antipodean instruments.>> > > Is that the guy from "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport"? Geez, he's still around? > > Arnie > > Yeah, its the same guy. He did childrens programs on Brit tv and specialized in doing funny paintings. He also had two other hits in UK: Sun Arise (a good one) and "Jake the Peg" (terrible!). I actually saw the guy twice in UK, not in concert but Graham. > > ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 08:07:06 -0500 From: "Sara Kerr" Subject: Re: [AVALON] Roxy Music - The Greatest So how does one buy this? Sara - ---------- > From: Ray Carrington > To: avalon@smoe.org > Subject: [AVALON] Roxy Music - The Greatest > Date: Saturday, May 02, 1998 2:54 PM > > Another "The Greatest" album has been released in Japan (only). > After the Ferry comp it's time for Roxy Music. This one has no > rare tracks or 12" remixes though. The artwork is like the Ferry > album (red instead of blue). The case has printed "The Greatest > Liited Edition" in gold on the front. 34-page Booklet in japanese > with lyrics (eng & jap), no photos. > > Tracks: The Greatest VJCP-51049 > 1. Virginia Plain > 2. Pyjamarama > 3. For Your Pleasure > 4. Do The Strand > 5. Street Life > 6. All I Want Is You > 7. Love Is The Drug > 8. Both Ends Burning > 9. Trash > 10. Dance Away > 11. Angel Eyes > 12. Over You > 13. Oh Yeah > 14. Same Old Scene > 15. Jealous Guy > 16. More Than This > 17. Avalon > 18. Take A Chance With Me > > Ray. > > > ______________________________________________________ > Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com > > > ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 04 May 1998 08:34:35 -0700 From: Rex Estorffe Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: Graham Howard wrote: > > > From: ASchulberg > > Date: Sat, 2 May 1998 07:49:17 EDT > > To: avalon@smoe.org > > Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: > > Reply-to: avalon@smoe.org > > > > > > > << Rolf Harris on guest antipodean instruments.>> > > > > Is that the guy from "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport"? Geez, he's still around? > > > > Arnie > > > > Yeah, its the same guy. He did childrens programs on Brit tv and specialized in doing funny paintings. He also had two other hits in UK: Sun Arise (a good one) and "Jake the Peg" (terrible!). I actually saw the guy twice in UK, not in concert but > > Graham. > > > > Was he also the guy who did "Pub with no beer" dread the thought,he also did quick splashy sketches on T.V.that i remember i was just a children then ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 10:05:03 +0500 From: "Graham Howard" Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: > Was he also the guy who did "Pub with no beer" dread the thought,he also > did quick splashy sketches on T.V.that i remember i was just a children > then > > Dont know about the pub with no beer, but yeah, he was the splashy sketches guy. Graham. > > ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 12:25:13 -0500 (CDT) From: Heather Marie Propes Subject: [AVALON] first contest contestant!!!!! Oh, it's so exciting [blushes and waves her hands around]...I'm sitting in Bryan Ferry's house and he wants me to advise him on his career! "So Bryan, I hear this group of Japanese businessmen are like, into Roxy now. That's great. How do you think they heard about you?" "Oh, I don't know. I heard somewhere that Japanese kids started buying up our album by mistake because I looked so much like David Sylvian. And everyone thought Phil was Mick Karn, so you know. It just kind of evolved, well, organically I suppose [stand up and pats his dog on the head]." "Wow... [contemplates the collection of great books, especially the highly-sought "My Fiancee Needs The Phone, Gotta Run: The Wit And Wisdom of Heather Marie Propes" and thinks about palming just one volume] you very well may have tricked the nation. But what did they say when they figured out you were Roxy Music, not Japan?" "Oh, well they loved us even more. Especially when we sang "Mother of Pearl" because they misunderstood the lyrics and thought we were singing about Asian women, 'Korean girl-lover/exposed undercover/bla bla bla' So they really went crazy for us [starts squirming as the Viagra kicks in]." "So now they want you to do this gig in Guam, at the Hard Rock Cafe, no less? Well I'll be honest with you, it's not really befitting of your image, is it?"[looks Ferry blankly in the eye] "No I suppose it's not but how can we turn down 412,000 quid?" "Bryan, how can you make yourself sound so pathetic? This is not the style I expect from the tres chic lead man of Roxy Music! You just haven't been the same since Jerry left you, but you shouldn't blame yourself, she was nuts to go off with that little twerp in the white sweatsuit [thinking that if I build up his confidence a little he might agree to what I have to say]. I mean, I never would have left you for Mick Jagger, John Lennon, or anyone!"[always wanted to say that] "Well now they're offering me money. I finally have an opportunity to get these shysters off my back and maybe regain my self-respect. With or without a stylish approach I feel that I need to do this." [bangs fall over one glinting eye as he whacks the rococo inlay table passionately. Aahh, it's coming back. Did someone put some Viagra in my tea?]. "Now you've hit the nail on the head, Bryan! Don't you see? The whole world is full of shysters and you've gotta be one too. You know, you can't be a granola and play in this capitalist game at the same time. You've gotta choose. You can be granola if you want, but you're gonna get screwed! [the opinions reflected herein are purely fictional and by no means represent the opinions of the author]. Now didn't you see Jackie Brown? Pam Grier played this totally ace uberheroine. She was caught between these small time gun-smugglers on one side and the police on the other. It was either death or the big house! But she ended up playing them all when she led the police right to the crime boss and then escaped with all the money. That's what you've gotta do!" [looking passionate now]"Fine, but what do you suggest?" "Get me another cup of that tea and I'll explain." - --------------------------- Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of "Heather and Bryan!" Heather Marie Propes asbuch@midway.uchicago.edu http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/asbuch/index.htm#hometop ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 15:03:24 EDT From: RODEISLRED Subject: Re: [AVALON] first contest contestant!!!!! "Get me another cup of that tea and I'll explain." - --------------------------- Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of "Heather and Bryan!" - --Great stuff, Heather!!! I've got the cup of tea, and am hanging on the edge of my seat! I guess the first contestant will be the winner, 'cause nobody will be able to top this one. - --red ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 15:44:20 +0000 From: "M.R.Humphrey" Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: Rex Estorffe asked........... > Was he also the guy who did "Pub with no beer" dread the thought,he also > did quick splashy sketches on T.V.that i remember i was just a children > then "Pub with no beer" was by Lonnie Donegan. Who would have thunk that the names Rolf Harris and Lonnie Donegan would have appeared on a Roxy Music mailing list ? or any other mailing list for that matter. It's a funny old world innit ? Mick Humphrey. Toronto, Canada. M.R.Humphrey@myna.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 05 May 1998 10:07:03 +1200 (NZST) From: David Fairley Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: On Mon, 4 May 1998, M.R.Humphrey wrote: > Rex Estorffe asked........... > > > Was he also the guy who did "Pub with no beer" dread the thought,he also > > did quick splashy sketches on T.V.that i remember i was just a children > > then > > "Pub with no beer" was by Lonnie Donegan. > > Who would have thunk that the names Rolf Harris and Lonnie Donegan > would have appeared on a Roxy Music mailing list ? or any other > mailing list for that matter. Well, actually it was Slim Dusty that was responsible for "Pub With No Beer" Lonnie Donegan's claim to fame was "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour On The Bedpost Overnight" dave. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 04 May 1998 17:13:36 -0700 From: Rex Estorffe Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: M.R.Humphrey wrote: > > Rex Estorffe asked........... > > > Was he also the guy who did "Pub with no beer" dread the thought,he also > > did quick splashy sketches on T.V.that i remember i was just a children > > then > > "Pub with no beer" was by Lonnie Donegan. > > Who would have thunk that the names Rolf Harris and Lonnie Donegan > would have appeared on a Roxy Music mailing list ? or any other > mailing list for that matter. > > It's a funny old world innit ? > > Mick Humphrey. Toronto, Canada. > M.R.Humphrey@myna.com Thanks for putting me straight,but i was close! used to see lonnie at the "White Hart"? Southall whilst attending Tech.College and the local billard hall,Oh! Bryan Was in grade/primary school at that time,had to keep on track! ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 20:46:19 EDT From: Dawndalian Subject: Re: [AVALON] first contest contestant!!!!! "Heather and Bryan???" Aww, c'mon Heather, move over and share the Man with the rest of Us Girls.... I am dyin' over here... Who was it that said that they would be like those 40yearold wimmen going bonkers over Tom Jones, only it would be Our Hero, Bryan.... I have 9 years to go to that age, but I say, Let's Go, Throw our hotel keys on the stage..... I am THERE! Mark my word. Dawne ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 20:34:05 -0500 (CDT) From: Heather Marie Propes Subject: Re: [AVALON] first contest contestant!!!! O.K. Dawn, you may be three years older than me, but you have children and I've got to dig myself out of $20,000 worth of University of Chicago graduate school debt before I can even think of getting pregnant, so we've already proven that life's not fair in more ways than one. [No seriously, I meant to tell you congratulations on your baby. I couldn't think of a more wonderful reason to miss a Bryan Ferry concert. What's his name?] Tell you what, as soon as Jimmy Vapor, my agent, secures this book deal for me, I'm sure I'll be off giving a tour of in-store booksignings and pro-union rallies at Borders (that is if I don't get pre-empted by Suzanne Sommers and her scintillating autobiography). Meanwhile, I'm sure Bryan (who will be in Vegas preparing for the big casino hoist I'm about to set him up on) will be so crazed from Viagra that, well, FCC guidelines forbid me from saying what he'll want to do. So I'll give you those keys to his room at the Rio if you promise not to have TOO much fun. Hoping no one's peeking over my shoulder, Heatherita http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/asbuch/index.htm#hometop On Mon, 4 May 1998, Dawndalian wrote: > "Heather and Bryan???" > Aww, c'mon Heather, move over and share the Man with the rest of Us Girls.... > I am dyin' over here... Who was it that said that they would be like those > 40yearold wimmen going bonkers over Tom Jones, only it would be Our Hero, > Bryan.... > I have 9 years to go to that age, but I say, Let's Go, Throw our hotel keys on > the stage..... I am THERE! Mark my word. > > Dawne > > > ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 22:43:24 +0000 From: "M.R.Humphrey" Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: David Fairly wrote............ > Well, actually it was Slim Dusty that was responsible for "Pub With No Beer" > Lonnie Donegan's claim to fame was "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its > Flavour On The Bedpost Overnight" Slim Dusty probably sold 50 records and went top of the New Zealand charts, Lonnie had the hit with "Pub with no beer" in the UK. Mick Humphrey. Toronto, Canada. M.R.Humphrey@myna.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 04 May 1998 21:01:30 -0700 From: Frank and Liz Smith Subject: Re: [AVALON] first contest contestant!!!!! Heather - do you dream of Mr. Ferry!!! I DO!!!!!!! "Boys will be boys will be BOYOYSSSS!! ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 05 May 98 15:02:06 +1000 From: Jeffrey Hogan Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: >Slim Dusty probably sold 50 records and went top of the New Zealand >charts, Lonnie had the hit with "Pub with no beer" in the UK. Slim Dusty topped the Australian charts for years with "Pub with no beer" (recently covered in an extraordinary Reggae style by Ian "Turps" Turpie on his "Turps is the talk of the town" CD). Jeff Hogan ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 05 May 1998 18:03:23 +1200 (NZST) From: David Fairley Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: On Mon, 4 May 1998, M.R.Humphrey wrote: > David Fairly wrote............ > > > Well, actually it was Slim Dusty that was responsible for "Pub With No Beer" > > Lonnie Donegan's claim to fame was "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its > > Flavour On The Bedpost Overnight" > > Slim Dusty probably sold 50 records and went top of the New Zealand > charts, Lonnie had the hit with "Pub with no beer" in the UK. > > Mick Humphrey. Toronto, Canada. > M.R.Humphrey@myna.com Slim Dusty is actually an Australian and wrote the song "Pub With No Beer", Lonnie Donegan's version was therefore a cover. dave. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 05 May 1998 18:06:37 +1200 (NZST) From: David Fairley Subject: Re: [AVALON] Re: On Tue, 5 May 1998, Jeffrey Hogan wrote: > > >Slim Dusty probably sold 50 records and went top of the New Zealand > >charts, Lonnie had the hit with "Pub with no beer" in the UK. > > Slim Dusty topped the Australian charts for years with "Pub with no beer" > (recently covered in an extraordinary Reggae style by Ian "Turps" Turpie > on his "Turps is the talk of the town" CD). > > Jeff Hogan Slim followed up his extraordinary success with a follow-up single which I believe was called something like "Answer to a Pub With No Beer" or Sequel to APWNB...something like that. dave. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 5 May 1998 03:39:19 EDT From: JVapor7 Subject: [AVALON] Contest #77 (N)--First Recap My Fellow Avalonians, I must say--things have gotten off to a rollicking start on contest #77. And since the rest of you can prattle on about 'The Pub With No Beer' endlessly, allow me to indulge in a long, boring recap. First, confirmed Ronald Reagan supporter and Thomas Dolby quoter Dawndalian underlined support for the 'tacky fedora' stance. Then RODEISLRED declared her love for me, and that feather-boa encased tease Heather Marie Propes warned us to anticipate her after-breakfast entry, which then didn't appear for another 24 hours. Ever the maverick, shoe-fetishist Colleen Matan pushed the apple cart over and asked is the glass half empty or half full by creating a contest within-a- contest: "WHO IS JIMMY VAPOR?" The gauntlet thrown down, Jason Greshes immediately entered the fray with a passionate discourse on my sexual identity whose accuracy and gentle insight reduced me to tears, although I must admit the "tainted prostitute" concept caused the old thinking cap to tighten a bit. New Kid On The Block Mr. Pleasant revealed certain not-altogether-unwanted masochistic urges towards your host, and that eclectic 'Avolonian' Jas threw us all off the ferris wheel by revealing he's been a fan of that Musique they call Roxie back before Quentin Tarantino, MTV, and even time itself began. Then that grandest, grooviest Pampliset of them all Bahi Para--BP to those who love him, and who doesn't?--corrected my spelling, and 31 year old Dawne had a baby, although by her own fevered admissions Mr Ferry does not--at this time--appear to be the father. And dependable Old Shep himself Arnie gave two thumbs way, way up to Ms Propes' Vapor-as-coyote concept. A dark cloud began to hover over Contest #77 with Graham Howard's musings on the aformentioned 'Pub With No Beer,' but Heather Marie Propes--in the parlance of today's youth-- dropped da bomb with her odd melange of kareoke and Beckett simply (although incorrectly) entitled "first contest contestant!!!!!" I'm sure the results left you all as speechless as I was. Get that tea off the burner, Heather! And the rest of you, in order to fully understand the riddle-wrapped-inside-a-pampliset that is Heather Marie Propes, I implore you--no, I DEMAND you head to her website (http://student- www.uchicago.edu/users/asbuch/index.htm#hometop)--and immediately read 'Other Uses For Naval (sp) Oranges.' There's an auteur at work here, and she doesn't eat granola. RODEISLRED then bonded with Ms Propes (Personal to Miss Red--'Hey, Baby do you wanna go to the Roxy show with me?') and the ghosts of novelty rock past, Lonnie Donegan and yes, Slim Dusty, turned the 'Pub With No Beer' brouhaha another notch tighter and made us all wonder how many Avalonians are living unattended in rest homes without benefit of cable TV. The Heatherita/Dawndalian circle of love grew wide enough to encompass both Tom Jones and Suzanne Sommers, and noted gossip columnist Liz Smith admitted her own sexual fantasies concerning Mr. Ferry (In the words of M.R> Humphrey, who would have thunk?). And the 'Pub With No Beer' imbroglio rages on. That's how it stands at Midnight, the dawne of day three for Contest #77/78. I'm sure you're all exhausted from the excitement, not to mention the sadism of this letter--heh heh heh--but to paraphrase that beloved philosopher Slim Dusty, is this a Contest With No Ferry? This is a COMPETITION, Ladies and gentlemen--surely you didn't want me to take all those contest-inspiring narcotics in vain? Where are the fucking REST of you? Thank you for your co-operation in this matter, The Howling Coyote, AKA Clint Eastwood, AKA God, AKA Love, AKA the Anaphylactic Seizure, AKA Rooster Cogburn, AKA "the dude," AKA The Open Sore, JVapor7 ------------------------------ End of avalon-digest V3 #107 **************************** ======================================================================== Please send any questions or comments about the list to avalon-digest-owner@smoe.org