From: owner-angry-psychos-digest@smoe.org (angry-psychos-digest) To: angry-psychos-digest@smoe.org Subject: angry-psychos-digest V4 #129 Reply-To: angry-psychos@smoe.org Sender: owner-angry-psychos-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-angry-psychos-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk X-To-Unsubscribe: Send mail to "angry-psychos-digest-request@smoe.org" X-To-Unsubscribe: with "unsubscribe" as the body. angry-psychos-digest Sunday, May 23 1999 Volume 04 : Number 129 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Open bag, eat nuts ["Everything Breaks" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 23 May 1999 01:27:27 GMT From: "Everything Breaks" Subject: Open bag, eat nuts In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase nesessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost (But it's *just* a suggestion!) On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save time?) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.) On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (I guess the "New & Improved" one WILL cause drowsiness!) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space. Or underground?) On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (What is this, a home castration kit?) On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) scott evans scott@jewelkilcher.com aol im screen name: jeweldsl let me fly! a jewel kilcher tribute http://everydayangels.net/jeweldsl - -- maybe i could've loved you better maybe you should've loved me more maybe our hearts were just next in line maybe.. everything breaks sometime.. 'everything breaks' - jewel _______________________________________________________________ Get Free Email and Do More On The Web. Visit http://www.msn.com ------------------------------ End of angry-psychos-digest V4 #129 ***********************************