From: owner-ammf-digest@smoe.org (alt.music.moxy-fruvous digest) To: ammf-digest@smoe.org Subject: alt.music.moxy-fruvous digest V4 #454 Reply-To: ammf@fruvous.com Sender: owner-ammf-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-ammf-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk alt.music.moxy-fruvous digest Thursday, November 16 2000 Volume 04 : Number 454 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: chad decides the election [Lori ] Re: chad decides the election [richardbutterworth@my-deja.com] OT: News from England [Melanie ] Re: OT: News from England [Seanna or Steve or Trevyn or Nicholas Subject: Re: chad decides the election First Paul Mischler said: > No, not 'the chads', but chad. What ever will happen to cChad though? Per Jian(1), the Cchad-form carries the pronunciation "C-chad". I suspect therefore Cchad may be subtly different from chad (Chad) as we know them. It may be free-radical chad (Chad). Or something like that. > According to the article, chad is its own plural. > http://www.cnn.com/2000/ALLPOLITICS/stories/11/12/chad.derivation/index.html > > "Chad is its own plural," said Paul J.J. Payack, president and CEO of > yourdictionary.com, which is based in California. Much like sheep. And spaghetti. Then Melanie said: > Paul wrote: > >>According to the article, chad is its own plural.<< > > So he always has someone to talk to and play with. :-) He's his own best friend ... - -- Lori Glitter Fairy/Tattooing Fru/High Priestess, Murray's Sect ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (1) effortless Fru-content.(2) (2) and name-dropping too. Damn I'm good -- and before 8 am too. Sometimes I scare me. :D ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Nov 2000 14:39:10 GMT From: richardbutterworth@my-deja.com Subject: Re: chad decides the election In article <3A1288B7.6625C9C7@xpnonline.net>, moonshimmer@xpnonline.net name dropped: > Per Jian(1), the Cchad-form carries the pronunciation "C-chad". Pshaw. Since when did he have the right to muscle in on *my* jokes and start dictating pronounciations? Cchad is a barely acceptable and degenerate shorthand for [Cc]had, pronounced `Optional big or little C had'. Which in turn is a shorthand for Cchhaadd (pronounced `Cchhaadd'). Cchhaadd was my invention circa September 1998 and [Cc]had was subsequently developed under licence after several minutes intensive research by Nicole TWN [1]. As of time of writing neither I or Nicole have recieved requests from fragrant Canadians to develop new pronunications of our jokes, and therefore feel compelled to treat this as an infringement. I have contacted my lawyers[2]. Bless, Richard [1] Where are they now? [2] But they told me to sod off. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Nov 2000 10:52:54 -0500 From: Melanie Subject: OT: News from England This was forwarded to me by a friend. #4 at least should be of concern to Fruvous fans. Subject: News from England London, 8th November 2000 To the citizens of the United States of America, Following your failure to elect either a half-decent candidate or man- monkey as President of the USA to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume a monarch`s duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the following acts: 1. Look up "revoke" in a dictionary 2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God save the Queen" 3. Start referring to "soccer" as football 4. Declare war on Quebec Tax collectors from Her Majesty`s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisiton of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your cooperation and...have a nice day! ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 00:36:14 GMT From: Seanna or Steve or Trevyn or Nicholas Subject: Re: OT: News from England And i found this posted on another message board in response to that: In the spirit of "generally" genial good humor in which the original message was posted, permit me to make a reply. News from The U.S.A. back to Canada: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF THE CANADIAN CHARTER OF RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS; NOTICE OF CESSATION OF CANADIAN INDEPENDENCE AND ABSORPTION AND ASSIMILATION OF CANADA BY THE U.S. To the citizens of Canada, in light of your failure to create a truly "Canadian" identity defined as anything more meaningful than anti-Americanism, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your status as an independent nation co-existing with the United States of America (also known as "The Pre-Eminent Nation of the Modern World" and "The Sole Remaining Superpower of the World" and "Winner Of The Cold War") in North America. Accordingly, all territories formerly identified as being part of "Canada" shall now be known as "Newest additions to the Realm and Kingdom of The Americas". The only exceptions to this Shall Be Manitoba (an ancient indian name meaning "Snowbound in Summer, Mosquito-Infested in Summer") and Canada's Maritime provinces, most of which were not particularly wanted even by Canadians. Also exempt from this is North Dakota, which was scarcely considered inhabited and which no one here particularly wanted, anyway. All Former Canadians shall be given immediate American citizenship. Since many of you have been on waiting lists to become American citizens and emigrate to the U.S. for many years anyway, this news will come as a welcome relief. Your new President (name to be determined at a later date) will resume governship over all formerly Canadian provinces, territories and entities, whose names are generally considered unpronounceable anyway. All use of Canadian currency is to be phased out, to be replaced with equivalent American currency. Since most Canadian financial institutions already offer U.S. dollar-denominated checking and savings accounts, most of you should notice little difference except for the immediate jump of approximately 45% in the "real" value and purchasing power of your new currency. Printing and Use of Canadian currency (also known as "Monopoly Money", both for its color and for its value) is to be discontinued over a period of 10 years. All Former Canadian owners of real estate will see an immediate 45% increase in the value of their property, with the exception of vancouver, B.C. which will see a 35% decline due to the fact that property there was overvalued to begin with and unsupported by economic reality. All Former Canadians will be encouraged to educate themselves in and take advantage of their new American rights and freedoms, which shall be a vast expansion of what they had previously been "permitted and graciously given" by the former Government of Canada. Western Canadians in particular will be astonished to discover that the U.S. has had a "Triple E' Senate for approximately 200 years. Former Canadians will also be allowed to own firerarms, since (in contrast to most of the rest of the world) Americans actually own stuff that OTHER PEOPLE WANT and which occasionally require defending. Former Canadians will also be encouraged and permitted, without fear of prosecution, to terminate the lives of individuals such as mass murderer Clifford Robert Olson (at least one of whose victims would likely be still alive, ahd she carried a handgun in her purse). Former Canadians will be entirely permitted to continue in the use of whatever langauges they currently use. Since the U.S. has encouraged the adoption from other cultures of words, concepts, ideas and goods for over 200 years, this process will continue. Example: Pizza, pasta, espresso, sushi and other staples of daily American life are all items adapted from other cultures. Since tens of thousands of Former Canadians already spent a good portion of the time in South Florida anyway, and since many streets in Florida and Louisiana already sport French-language names, this process will continue unchanged. Item of note: Large numbers of people in Louisiana speak no English at all, communicating instead in 200-year old French. This is due to the fact that their ancestors migrated from New Brunswick in the early 1800s, and the American term "Cajun" is a loose derivative of the original term 'Acadian'. Former Canadians will be covered by U.S. medical insurance and will receive medical care in the U.S. Since the Canadian medical system of socialized medicine is steadily collapsing, and since Canadians are being increasingly diverted to U.S. hospitals anyway (see http://www.king5.com/health/storydetail.html?StoryID=7962 for details on this), this should result in immediate improvement. However, in a major cultural shift, Canadians will now be expected to "actually take responsibity for their own physical health". This marks a major change from the existing system, in which people who smoke like chimneys, drink like fish, are 75 pounds overweight and haven't seen their feet in 25 years pay exactly the same premium as people who maintain their health responsibly. Former Canadians will be encouraged to learn the rules of "American Football". Since none of them actually watch "Canadian Football" and since they root for U.S. Superbowl-bound teams anyway, again, no change is anticipated. Former Canadians will also be encouraged to learn and practice American English. Since this is the new global language standard sweeping even Europe, again, little if any change will be observed. Canadians will be encouraged to develop innovative new words, like "Boyz", "Da 'Hood", "The 'Net", etc. as Americans already do. Thank you in advance for your cooperation. Melanie wrote: > > This was forwarded to me by a friend. > #4 at least should be of concern to Fruvous fans. > > Subject: News from England > > London, 8th November 2000 > > To the citizens of the United States of America, > > Following your failure to elect either a half-decent candidate or man- > monkey as President of the USA to govern yourselves and, by > extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation > of your independence. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II > will resume a monarch`s duties over all states, commonwealths and > other territories. To aid in the transition to a British Crown > Dependency, please comply with the following acts: > > 1. Look up "revoke" in a dictionary > > 2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God save the Queen" > > 3. Start referring to "soccer" as football > > 4. Declare war on Quebec > > Tax collectors from Her Majesty`s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisiton of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). > > Thank you for your cooperation and...have a nice day! - -- /"\ \ / ASCII Ribbon Campaign - Say NO to HTML in email and news X / \ ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 04:42:12 GMT From: Seanna or Steve or Trevyn or Nicholas Subject: Re: OT: News from England And i found this too: members.home.net/swatsons/votedum.gif Seanna or Steve or Trevyn or Nicholas wrote: > > And i found this posted on another message board in response to that: > > In the spirit of "generally" genial good humor in > which the > original message was posted, permit me to make a > reply. > News from The U.S.A. back to Canada: > NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF THE CANADIAN CHARTER OF > RIGHTS AND > FREEDOMS; NOTICE OF CESSATION OF CANADIAN > INDEPENDENCE AND > ABSORPTION AND ASSIMILATION OF CANADA BY THE U.S. > To the citizens of Canada, in light of your failure > to create a > truly "Canadian" identity defined as anything more > meaningful > than anti-Americanism, we hereby give notice of the > revocation of > your status as an independent nation co-existing with > the United > States of America (also known as "The Pre-Eminent > Nation of the > Modern World" and "The Sole Remaining Superpower of > the World" > and "Winner Of The Cold War") in North America. > Accordingly, all > territories formerly identified as being part of > "Canada" shall > now be known as "Newest additions to the Realm and > Kingdom of The > Americas". The only exceptions to this Shall Be > Manitoba (an > ancient indian name meaning "Snowbound in Summer, > Mosquito-Infested in Summer") and Canada's Maritime > provinces, > most of which were not particularly wanted even by > Canadians. > Also exempt from this is North Dakota, which was > scarcely > considered inhabited and which no one here > particularly wanted, > anyway. > All Former Canadians shall be given immediate > American > citizenship. Since many of you have been on waiting > lists to > become American citizens and emigrate to the U.S. for > many years > anyway, this news will come as a welcome relief. Your > new > President (name to be determined at a later date) > will resume > governship over all formerly Canadian provinces, > territories and > entities, whose names are generally considered > unpronounceable > anyway. > All use of Canadian currency is to be phased out, to > be replaced > with equivalent American currency. Since most > Canadian financial > institutions already offer U.S. dollar-denominated > checking and > savings accounts, most of you should notice little > difference > except for the immediate jump of approximately 45% in > the "real" > value and purchasing power of your new currency. > Printing and Use > of Canadian currency (also known as "Monopoly Money", > both for > its color and for its value) is to be discontinued > over a period > of 10 years. > All Former Canadian owners of real estate will see an > immediate > 45% increase in the value of their property, with the > exception > of vancouver, B.C. which will see a 35% decline due > to the fact > that property there was overvalued to begin with and > unsupported > by economic reality. > All Former Canadians will be encouraged to educate > themselves in > and take advantage of their new American rights and > freedoms, > which shall be a vast expansion of what they had > previously been > "permitted and graciously given" by the former > Government of > Canada. Western Canadians in particular will be > astonished to > discover that the U.S. has had a "Triple E' Senate > for > approximately 200 years. > Former Canadians will also be allowed to own > firerarms, since (in > contrast to most of the rest of the world) Americans > actually own > stuff that OTHER PEOPLE WANT and which occasionally > require > defending. Former Canadians will also be encouraged > and > permitted, without fear of prosecution, to terminate > the lives of > individuals such as mass murderer Clifford Robert > Olson (at least > one of whose victims would likely be still alive, ahd > she carried > a handgun in her purse). > Former Canadians will be entirely permitted to > continue in the > use of whatever langauges they currently use. Since > the U.S. has > encouraged the adoption from other cultures of words, > concepts, > ideas and goods for over 200 years, this process will > continue. > Example: Pizza, pasta, espresso, sushi and other > staples of daily > American life are all items adapted from other > cultures. Since > tens of thousands of Former Canadians already spent a > good > portion of the time in South Florida anyway, and > since many > streets in Florida and Louisiana already sport > French-language > names, this process will continue unchanged. Item of > note: Large > numbers of people in Louisiana speak no English at > all, > communicating instead in 200-year old French. This is > due to the > fact that their ancestors migrated from New Brunswick > in the > early 1800s, and the American term "Cajun" is a loose > derivative > of the original term 'Acadian'. > Former Canadians will be covered by U.S. medical > insurance and > will receive medical care in the U.S. Since the > Canadian medical > system of socialized medicine is steadily collapsing, > and since > Canadians are being increasingly diverted to U.S. > hospitals > anyway > (see > http://www.king5.com/health/storydetail.html?StoryID=7962 > for details on this), this should result in immediate > improvement. However, in a major cultural shift, > Canadians will > now be expected to "actually take responsibity for > their own > physical health". This marks a major change from the > existing > system, in which people who smoke like chimneys, > drink like fish, > are 75 pounds overweight and haven't seen their feet > in 25 years > pay exactly the same premium as people who maintain > their health > responsibly. > Former Canadians will be encouraged to learn the > rules of > "American Football". Since none of them actually > watch "Canadian > Football" and since they root for U.S. > Superbowl-bound teams > anyway, again, no change is anticipated. > Former Canadians will also be encouraged to learn and > practice > American English. Since this is the new global > language standard > sweeping even Europe, again, little if any change > will be > observed. Canadians will be encouraged to develop > innovative new > words, like "Boyz", "Da 'Hood", "The 'Net", etc. as > Americans already do. > Thank you in advance for your cooperation. > > Melanie wrote: > > > > This was forwarded to me by a friend. > > #4 at least should be of concern to Fruvous fans. > > > > Subject: News from England > > > > London, 8th November 2000 > > > > To the citizens of the United States of America, > > > > Following your failure to elect either a half-decent candidate or man- > > monkey as President of the USA to govern yourselves and, by > > extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation > > of your independence. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II > > will resume a monarch`s duties over all states, commonwealths and > > other territories. To aid in the transition to a British Crown > > Dependency, please comply with the following acts: > > > > 1. Look up "revoke" in a dictionary > > > > 2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God save the Queen" > > > > 3. Start referring to "soccer" as football > > > > 4. Declare war on Quebec > > > > Tax collectors from Her Majesty`s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisiton of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). > > > > Thank you for your cooperation and...have a nice day! > > -- > /"\ > \ / ASCII Ribbon Campaign - Say NO to HTML in email and news > X > / \ - -- /"\ \ / ASCII Ribbon Campaign - Say NO to HTML in email and news X / \ ------------------------------ End of alt.music.moxy-fruvous digest V4 #454 ********************************************