From: owner-ammf-digest@smoe.org (alt.music.moxy-fruvous digest) To: ammf-digest@smoe.org Subject: alt.music.moxy-fruvous digest V3 #260 Reply-To: ammf@fruvous.com Sender: owner-ammf-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-ammf-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk alt.music.moxy-fruvous digest Thursday, March 11 1999 Volume 03 : Number 260 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: Banjo. [Rachael Rosenthal ] Hey, mid-atlantic fans who like The Nields... [sbcgrrl@my-dejanews.com] Re: Hey, mid-atlantic fans who like The Nields... [Mindy J Munson ] BJ and Rachel Transcription ["Loren B. Becker" ] Re: BJ and Rachel Transcription [Nate DeRose ] Re: For your consideration: Grateful Fruvous [Ellen ] The Story of BJ and Rachael . . . Part 1 ["KatieWow" ] The Story of BJ and Rachael . . . Part 3 ["KatieWow" ] The Story of BJ and Rachael . . . Part 2 ["KatieWow" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 16:49:59 -0500 From: Rachael Rosenthal Subject: Re: Banjo. chad schrock wrote: > Does this mean that chad who has just recovered from the death flu > went out side and made SNOW ANGELS?!?!? tsk tsk tsk ... > chad.....although I guess when you're from Maryland the sight of > actual snow does weird things to your head... :^p "way to go > chad"....LOL Rachael, who admits to making her own snow angels monday night/Tues morning at about 3 AM... > > > Just go outside and make snow angels!!!! > > -- > chad at radix dot net > > SNOW!SNOW!SNOW!SNOW!SNOW!SNOW!SNOW!SNOW!! > > This is the most snow we've had here for THREE years. > > I'm happy. ;) ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 00:50:48 GMT From: sbcgrrl@my-dejanews.com Subject: Hey, mid-atlantic fans who like The Nields... On Sunday March 21, 1999, Dar Williams and The Nields will play a free concert at Sweet Briar College in Virginia. This show is listed on both of their websites as a private show, but the college has opened it up to the general public. It's all FREE...okay it costs $5/car to park, but that ain't bad. For more information, visit... http://www.sbcnews.sbc.edu/9903/9903fest1.html Sweet Briar is about 40 miles south of Charlottesville, VA and 10 miles north of Lynchburg. Very pretty scenery for an outdoor concert. Hope the weather is good. :-) - -----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==---------- http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 01:23:03 GMT From: Mindy J Munson Subject: Re: Hey, mid-atlantic fans who like The Nields... Thank you so much! I will see if I can go! fruchild, " I AM the band" Murray 2/6/99 On Fri, 12 Mar 1999 00:50:48 GMT sbcgrrl@my-dejanews.com writes: >On Sunday March 21, 1999, Dar Williams and The Nields will play a >free >concert at Sweet Briar College in Virginia. This show is listed on >both of >their websites as a private show, but the college has opened it up to >the >general public. > >It's all FREE...okay it costs $5/car to park, but that ain't bad. > >For more information, visit... >http://www.sbcnews.sbc.edu/9903/9903fest1.html > >Sweet Briar is about 40 miles south of Charlottesville, VA and 10 >miles north >of Lynchburg. Very pretty scenery for an outdoor concert. Hope the >weather >is good. :-) > >-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network >==---------- >http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your >Own > ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 18:34:58 -0700 From: katrin@dimensional.com (Katrin) Subject: Re: Okay, I'm putting my two cents in In article <19990311161205.21947.rocketmail@web309.yahoomail.com>, alaynamac@yahoo.com says... > Actually, no. I'm about 2 and a half hours north of there. But I > usually stay w/ my friend there when we go to Minneapolis to see Fruvous. Okay, /me gets out her trusty atlas 'cause she's horrible at geography... where would that be, around Bemidji? (Yay Paul Bunyan!) And hey, I'll bet the rest of you didn't know that two neighboring towns are Nebish and Funkley. (I just learned that.) Anyway, as lots of people know 'cause I keep mentioning it, I'm from Grand Forks (*almost* Minnesota!), now stuck (I mean, happily residing) in Denver, and my whole family's in the Cities now, and you can bet I'll be at the next Mpls. show if I have to *crawl* there from here. And dragging along my two slacker sisters who do not yet understand the glorious ways of Früvous. k@ owns the "Fargo" snow globe with the woodchipper scene and little red bits mixed in with the "snow" ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 20:33:43 -0500 From: Fran Egan Subject: Re: Great Big Sea (with Heather!) in Philadelphia! You can go to http://www.ticketweb.com/user/penn/venues/misc/pbac to buy tickets to this show and/or to get info on the venue, including a link to a Yahoo map. I won't be at this show, but I'm planning to catch all of Great Big Sea's New England shows. :) Cheers, Fran E. http://www.flybyday.com/gbsboston/ Srm9988n wrote: > Wendy asked: > > >Hey Lori! Iwas planning on heading up to Philly for the show...but I saw it > >was switched from the Khyber to the Painted Bride Center. Is this just a > >venue > >name change, or a totally different venue? Any info would be great, i.e. > >directions!!!!! :o) Thanks and see you guys there! > > Well, here's the deal. I got my info awhile ago from Butch Ross (of the > eponymous band that opened for Fruvous at the Troc) -- so I suspect the venue > got changed in the interim. The PB is a completely different place from the > Khyber. I'll try to dig up some information for y'all on this, maybe > directions, time etc ... but yes since Painted Bride does seem to be confirmed > in 2 separate posts, that's what I'd go with unless told differently. It's a > good and fairly accessible venue too from what I've heard. > > I'm not in the most proactive phase right now, but I will make some effort to > post comprehensive info soon. Hope to see a whole bunch of you there! > > -- Lori > ******************************* > visit Lori's strange and wonderful world! > http://members.aol.com/srm9988n/index.html ------------------------------ Date: 11 Mar 1999 17:41:14 -0800 From: "Jason A. Reiser" Subject: Re: Copyright? In article <19990311.185518.-3951557.5.SHAZALINREA@juno.com>, Mindy says... > >Ok guys, Im on lit. mag. in my school and we were discussing how our >creativeness as a school sux. Each of the editors wants to put their fav >poem in but can not due to copy right issues.... I want to put *some* >kind of Fru lyric in there..... not sure what yet...... and I was >wondering if that was against the bands policies or how I would go about >making them OK on such a thing.... Ideas? If you write a piece about a song, or about the lyrics themselves, it could be considered "fair use" and not in violation of copyright. The line here is vague, but generally you'd have to include no more of the original piece than necessary for your point(s). YMMV - I'm a geek, not a lawyer. - - Jason jreiser@ecoutez.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 03:08:41 GMT From: "Loren B. Becker" Subject: BJ and Rachel Transcription Hey Kate! I'm pretty sure that just about everyone who was there and many who weren't would love to see a copy of this transcription. I'd post it if I were you. Also, I believe that while photography and video were pretty much not allowed during that weekend's shows, there was no proscription against audio taping, as evidenced by the table full of recording equipment back by the sound board. You'd have to check with one of the usual suspects though to confirm this. /loren ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 22:18:24 -0500 From: Nate DeRose Subject: Re: BJ and Rachel Transcription Loren B. Becker wrote: > Also, I believe that while photography and video were pretty much not allowed > during that weekend's shows, there was no proscription against audio taping, as > evidenced by the table full of recording equipment back by the sound board. > You'd have to check with one of the usual suspects though to confirm this. Yeppers! :) Considering that we had... what was it jason... 9 DAT decks and 2 DA-38's? running... I'd say taping was cool. hehhehe Cheers, nate (a usual suspect) ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 03:21:50 GMT From: Ellen Subject: Re: For your consideration: Grateful Fruvous In article <2.2.32.19990311200343.00fc5b18@faatcrl.faa.gov>, Alan Sigman wrote: > Ellen, after months of exhaustive research (hey, why wasn't I > consulted? Sounds like my kind of research), wrote: sorry, my grant money didn't cover collaboartors. ;) > > onstage (occasionally improvised > > lyrics but only where they couldn't > > remember the real ones) > > They'll still never play "space" like > the Dead, though. will *anyone*? not even the dead did Space like the dead, some nights. > Cold War? Which song is this? My only guess is you're thinking of Morning Dew, > which they did not write. Their rendition of it was quite stirring though. nope, Throwing Stones. see my .sig. =) > Could you have imagined Jerry and Bob > trying to remember all the lyrics to Johnny Saucep'n? see my point about lyric improvisation above. > looking forward to the new 25 minute arrangement of Boo Time, that's the spirit! peace, ellen (this is fun =) ********************************************************************* The future's here, we are it, we are on our own... ********************************************************************* - -----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==---------- http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 03:29:25 GMT From: Mindy J Munson Subject: Re: Lit Mag Copyright Issues On Thu, 11 Mar 1999 18:44:19 -0800 petit_chou@juno.com writes: > >Fruchild, > >I am a former editor (Junior and Senior year), contributor, and lay >out MASTAH for Bothell High School's annual Literary Magazine. >So...basically, I can talk turkey with you, you know? Frankly, I'm >surprised that your advisor (do you have an advisor who's very active >with you all or is this almost entirely student run?) even let you all >consider the idea of printing your favourite poems. It comes down to >money. Stuff that's recent is gonna be A LOT harder to get because >you're gonna have to pay for it -- and potentially give royalties to >the author or his/her estate. Stuff that's REALLY old is most likely >in public domain, and can (I *think*) be printed without a worry. I >am not certain, however, when the cut-off for public domain is. It's >something weird like 75 years after the author's death or something >like that. blech, ok. >Now, that's if you wanna be legal. A lot of people publish stuff >(zine's do it all the time) that they have absolutely no right to >publish. This is risky business. It's like...photo-copying sheet >music for the choir members instead of buying copies for all: no one >is supposed to do it, almost everyone does. Small town bands cover >songs all the time, and even put them on recordings, completely >without permission from the original artist. If your lit mag has a >very wide distribution at all, then you could run into problems. It's >all about what you want to risk. Now, for the record, I'm not saying >that you should print these things illegally, because I *REALLY* don't >think it's a good idea. I'm more concerned with how the band feels about this more than anything. It is only distributed in school (probably no more than 200 copies), but the thing that I think fruvous would object to is that it gains profit (2 to 3 bucks a zine). >Perhaps, as an alternative, you could accept artwork and photography >along with literary submissions? We are doing that. >That's what we did at BHS and it was >highly successful. We had a fairly high distribution, as these things >go, and a lot of interest in contributions. If you choose to accept >artwork, it's really easy to go to the art classes at your school and >make an announcement. It's just important that you shop around for a >good printer, cause you're gonna need help getting some of that art to >be justly represented. Photography is also tough sometimes, but >scanning can work well -- I'd also recommend only black and white >work. Colours are just TOO hard to fine tune in a grey-scale system. We are discussing budget to do colored prints for a few and then BandW photography. >I don't have any idea about how you would get rights to a MF song, but >my first inclination is to tell you to contact management. They'll >know who you need to speak to. > >Sorry I can't be more helpful on that front, but when someone says >"Lit Mag" my ears perk up, cause my old ones are near and dear to my >heart. I hope that you find some of this useful and I'm not just >rambling on. > >Take care and good luck, >Heather Moore No, you've been very helpful! Thanx a million, dear! fruchild, " I AM the band" Murray 2/6/99 ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 22:35:46 -0500 From: "KatieWow" Subject: The Story of BJ and Rachael . . . Part 1 well, loren asked for it and that's good enough for me :). a couple of notes: - -this is my best estimation of what the guys said. when i was almost positive of what had been said, i used it. when i was about 50% sure, i left it out or put a note on it. - -the above mostly applies to the part of the story when BJ is in germany and jian is using a lot of german terms, and at certain points where mike's monologue isn't particularly clear. - -it's long. 5 pages, 10 point times new roman, single spaced. i'm putting it up in three parts. enjoy it! i certainly do :). ~~kate - -- kate leahy kleahy@loyola.edu everybody loves a happy ending but we don't even try we go straight past pretending to the part where everyone loves to cry - --elvis costello BJ Don’t Cry (Bargainville version)] CAL: Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to the story of BJ and Rachael. [BJ Travel Theme] In a province called Ontario, in a town called Flusherton, lived a boy named BJ who was in love with a girl named Rachael. Everyday BJ would buy flowers for Rachael, or chocolates, or interactive CD-Roms. But Rachael thought BJ was just a silly boy and threw them all in the garbage. Then one day for no apparent reason, and without so much as a forwarding address, Rachael and her family moved away from Flusherton. BJ was heartbroken, and spent all his time crying and drawing strange pictures that no one understood. Eventually BJ got tired of crying all the time and decided to go off and find Rachael. So the very next morning he tied a handkercheif to a stick just like he’d seen in the cartoons, and set off. [BJ Travel Theme] MURRAY: He hadn’t gone more than a kilometer down the road when a car pulled up beside him. It was a 1997 Lamborghini Countach, twin cam, with wing doors and a factory option microwave oven. The car stopped, one of the wing doors opened, and out stepped a man in his mid-30s. Even from 10-feet away, BJ caught a wiff of that blue microbial liquid they keep the combs in in expensive health clubs. He had that “Hail fellow, well met” tone of voice that people have who pull down over $90,000 a year. “Hail fellow, well met,” he shouted. “Hello,” said BJ. “You look lost. Where are you headed?” “Well,” said BJ, “I’m looking for a girl, actually.” “Well, this is your lucky day. You happen to be looking at the hottest chick magnet on the planet. I’m headed to a resort for the weekend—why don’t you hop in with me?” “Thank you very much,” said BJ turning to the camera, “but hitchhiking is a dangerous and counter-cultural activity that leads to free-thinking and non-conformity. Four out of five people who pick up hitchhikers are serial killers and the rest are loners with bad teeth.” “Well, I see I’m not getting anywhere with this—but maybe this will change your mind . . .” And with that he burst into song. [Get in the Car] MIKE (as Lou Reed): Yep . . . I was always trying to write the Great American Novel, I found it right here—the BJ and Rachael story. So here’s what happens. He got in a car, he got in another He went from town to town to town and I’m telling you brother That boy moved, the odometers proved That he was covering miles, discovering styles through the land of a thousand smiles He went to Kitchener, he went to Guelph Two fine Ontario towns where one can find oneself With a frosty mug, with a Pilsener stein At 2 AM in a Volkswagen bug just pukin’ out his guts and cryin’ But no fraulein. He saw a great big lake shining in the sun And he thought about his native Flusherton He saw a Darlington girl, he sang an Ottawa carol He got a ride from a guy in love with Perry Farrell Then to his peril he met a girl named Sheryl who fed him squirrel His path was full of loopy folk He met a man named Hammil in search of a perfect toke On Spadina Ave. he got himself a knish He met a chef named Johnny in search of a perfect dish And in cottage-land he shook the hand of the underworld’s slippery commish From an outlaw band—please understand This weren’t your ordinary average bandit fish Yes, BJ met the rather neato Señor Pisco Bandito [Pisco Bandito] JIAN: What a trip it had already been. What a trip it has been. BJ has already been in so many situations and met so many outlandish people and things. He has gotten into the car and met a materialistic and criminal fish. A bandit. I wonder if he was a Kenneth Starr fish. Just kidding. What a trip it has been. Almost like a getaway vacation weekend in Albany—although that type of thing is probably lost on the Albanians. In all the outlandish excitement, BJ almost forgets his main objective of finding Rachael. But not really. He would never forget Rachael. He leaves the water and proceeds to sit on a secluded rock by the water. BJ reflects upon his situation and aching heart. The water reflects BJ reflecting upon his situation and aching heart. BJ takes time like this to be away from the world and sing to his love, Rachael. Most of all, BJ regrets that he didn’t spend every waking and sleeping moment with Rachael letting her know how much he felt about her. If She Only Knew . . . [If You Only Knew (How Much I Think of You] MIKE (still Lou): So our friend BJ kept on going. But things started to get a little tense. The rat race . . . the beat of light, the speed of light, as David Bowie would say. He got a little tense—he went to a mini-putt and ended up wrapping his putter around a windmill. He hoofed an ATM machine—real hard. He went into a Sbarro and he told a three-year-old to fuck off. His metabolism was racing fast, fast, Fast, FAST, FAST. He saw someone singing a song and wondered what for . . . why anyone would bother (?) [Follow the Road] (editor’s note: I adore this. It’s seven kinds of amazing, all of them good.) [BJ Travel Theme] ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 22:37:06 -0500 From: "KatieWow" Subject: The Story of BJ and Rachael . . . Part 3 - -- kate leahy kleahy@loyola.edu everybody loves a happy ending but we don't even try we go straight past pretending to the part where everyone loves to cry - --elvis costello MURRAY: It’s definitely time for the theme again. We’ve gotta get that kid movin’. I want a fast version too. [BJ Travel Theme—fast version] MIKE: What can we say about BJ now? He’s been north and south and he’s been west. What can we say about BJ now, he’s [ ] all the [ ] from his chest. JIAN: Oh . . . we’re on a fuckin’ script here, you know? DAVE: We’ve got a show to do, eh? JIAN: What a trip it has been. Unfortunat—[Jian has forgotten to put on the baseball cap he has been wearing for his monologues. The crowd prompts him to put it on.] Oh. MIKE: That hat cost a lot of money. JIAN: Costume budget . . . What a trip it has been. Unfortunately for BJ, home may be where thoughts are escaping and music is playing . . . but it is not where his love lies waiting. He knows that Rachael is not there. What a trip it has already been. [Cal comes on stage to change the Spector’s battery.] He sees a small, diminutive sound engineer. MIKE: Who goes by the name Deus Ex Machina. JIAN: The sound engineer is friendly, but looks like he should be a member of Depeche Mode. [Dave walks off stage and Mike and Murray are paying attention to Cal.] All of a sudden, the narrator begins to feel very alone. [Jian begins to improvise to cover the bass problem.] Lots of commotion around him . . . does not know what’s going on. What a trip it has been. What a trip it has been. What a trip it has been. He knows that Rachael is not there. BJ takes a trip to a small Massachusetts town . . . called Woocshter. No, no—the town is called Northampton. BJ sees a band. The band is pretty good—but the people seeing them are even better! MURRAY: That’s improv. [Random fiddling with the “BJ Travel Theme” with Dave on electric and Mike on congas] JIAN: Ooh! BJ hears his theme. He wants to thank the fans for coming to see that band so much for all their support, especially for listening to his cathartic . . . his . . . special story. [More fiddling with the cracked-out version of the “BJ Theme”] He hears the sound of . . . beatniks. He wonders why the beatniks figure themselves to be beatniks, yet hang out at Starbucks up the street, where he saw them as he walked by, because he would never go in Starbucks. How could a town so cool have a Starbucks, he thinks to himself. Stay away from the enemy! He begins to proselytize on stage. Okay. [The Spector is back.] What a trip it has already been. And since he has been to so many places with so many people, he decides that maybe Rachael is existing in a place that is—[cut off by the speaker pop when Murray plugs the Spector back into its amp] maybe Rachael is existing in a place that is not populated by interesting people. MIKE: The Matchbox 20 concert? JIAN: BJ dresses up like Peter O’Toole, everyone’s favorite blue-eyed appropriator of Arab culture (editor’s note: Peter O’Toole played T.E. Lawrence in, a British lieutenant in Saudi Arabia in 1962’s Lawrence of Arabia)—but not really a true racist like Sally Field (editor’s note: Sally Field played an American housewife married to an Iranian man whose daughter is taken captive by the New Evil Empire [Iran] on a family visit to the country in 1991’s Not Without My Daughter [which, out of fairness, is based on actual (though related) events]). [Crowd groans] Oh, ‘cause you’re defending her. And heads to the desert. The sun is hot. The sand is hot. BJ is hot—and parched. Thankfully, Warren Beatty and his darling wife Annette have just opened a franchise of the Las Vegas Sand’s Hotel in the middle of the desert. BJ quenches his thirst at the bar and drinks in the atmosphere of the club called—the Sahara. [brief a cappella rendition of the “Travel Theme”] MURRAY: After BJ’s cursory search for Rachael, he concluded that she couldn ’t be anywhere on the planet Earth. He retrofitted his airplane with two cans of Coke © and a package of Pop Rocks © and after a good shake he was soaring through the stratosphere. Gradually, the earth became a tiny ball, the blue sky was replaced by black space, and the last decent radio station faded to fuzz, until all BJ could pick out was a lonely NASA satellite repeating over and over an ad for space travel, apparently intended for lunar travelers who never came. [You Will Go to the Moon] DAVE: You know, when BJ got there the moon was still pretty darn desolate. It was dusty and cold and barren, and he thought he might be in Duluth, but the lack of Green Bay Packers paraphanalia soon tipped him off that that was not the case. He was humming to himself as he curled up behind a big moon rock. “Me and my shadow . . . oh, what a lonely boy . . . one is the loneliest number . . . nobody’s talkin’ at me . . .” He was a big Harry Nillson (sp?) fan, this BJ. Resigning himself to spending the rest of his life with no company, friend or foe, man or beast, he fell into a deep sleep and dreamed of Rachael . . . her kisses . . . and her licking his face [Mike sings a strip-music rendition of the “Travel Theme”] It was such a vivid dream that he woke with a start and by God—there was something licking his face. It was a little dog, wagging her tail and making little excited sounds. BJ reached for her collar and looked at the tag. No, it wasn’t Zöe. [Laika] [Vamp opening of “BJ Don’t Cry”] MURRAY: As BJ stood there on that frozen satellite with Laika by his side, he came to a realization—an apotheosis, if you will. He realized that for the first time in a very long while, he was happy. Sure, it was cold on the moon, and the air was thin, and it was impossible to get milk on a Sunday; but he had a fine companion in Laika and real estate prices on the moon had nowhere to go but up. Soon BJ forgot all about Rachael, and he and Laika became great friends and spent their days playing Catch the Rock, which took up a lot of their time because on the moon, BJ could whip a rock almost two miles. And they lived happily ever after. [BJ Don’t Cry] THE END ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 22:36:34 -0500 From: "KatieWow" Subject: The Story of BJ and Rachael . . . Part 2 - -- kate leahy kleahy@loyola.edu everybody loves a happy ending but we don't even try we go straight past pretending to the part where everyone loves to cry - --elvis costello DAVE: And BJ followed that road, Goddamit—until he came to a purple road sign that said “Cannabiston. Population—Whatever.” He passed little houses painted like lollypops and school buses with stained glass windows and great clay smokestacks until he entered into what seemed to be the town square. It was a deserted crossroads—except for the man with the curly mustache sitting behind a small school desk. He wore a ridiculous stovepipe hat. Yeah—cool. It was fire-engine red, and he wore a silver war brass button overcoat, all of this over army fatigues. Can somebody talk to this guy? As BJ approached, the man looked up from what appeared to be some kind of erotic coloring-book; and sizing up our doleful hero declared “Wilkommen, stranger. I can see you’re lacking a little effervescence in your life.” MIKE: Was the coloring book—I’m familiar with these ‘cause I used to work in a bookstore—was it “Barney Does Dallas?” MURRAY: Yeah—you could dwell on the coloring book. DAVE: Let’s hang around the coloring book for a minute. JIAN: Was Barney naked? DAVE: So, like I said, he said “You’re lacking a little effervescense.” BJ said, “Yeah, well—since lovely Rachael has left me I have been a little bit flat to be sure.” [Mike (?) sings a slow, sad version of the travel theme] The mustachioed man reached into his bag at that point and magically pulled out a steaming large pizza, a big bottle of Cola, a bag of Doritos (Ranch style) and something also that looked like Aladdin’s lamp with a bunch of hoses coming out of it. MIKE: As mayor of Cannabiston, I pronounce this pizza awesome. DAVE: And the mustachioed man looked up at BJ . . . BJ all sad and weepy . . . and the guys said, the nutty guy, the dally guy said “Angel,” he said. “I can take you away from all that . . . and my name—is Lazlo.” [Lazlo’s Career] JIAN: What a trip it has already been. What a trip it has been. BJ learned that with Lazlo, he just enjoyed his first real trip. And what a trip it has been. Perhaps it was bad that he liked the trip so much. BJ’s drug induction leads to drug-induced drug addiction. And in the long tradition of Jim Morrison, Michael Hutchinson, and Diana, the Princess of Wales, he craves more. He craves more. So BJ travels to what we know as Europe for a three-day love rave in Germany featuring Ecstasy. But as BJ arrives in the Weimar Republic, he is met by a jolly and stern fellow named Gelhach Mueller Lothar Matthias Beckenbauer-Schlaeffer (Editor’s note: I completely bullshitted this phonetically). Matthais Beckenbauer-Schlaeffer tells him that druggie escapism can be a trip, but it is not the answer. So he invites BJ for some drinks. When I do the smile thing, I feel like I’m Benny Hill. [strange Benny Hill musical interlude] Matthais Beckenbauer-Schlaeffer tells him that druggie escapism can be a trip, but it is not the answer. So he invites BJ for some drinks. He reasons that maybe Rachael is in the Bavarian Beer Gardens. He takes BJ to the Heidelburg Lowenbrau [ ? ]hausen Circus. Alas, despite the joy and manic characteristic aggressive [ ?]tivism of the jovial atmosphere, the alcohol BJ is consuming draws him into a bitter , reclusive, ugly depression. He realizes that he is truly . . . Sad Today. [Sad Today] MURRAY: Sad . . . depressed . . . in a funk; BJ wandered down to the docks. It was one of those rare mystical nights when the smell of the water and the pall coming off of the garbage scows combines into the delicate scent of a Starbucks Double Mocha Frappuccino © He spotted a makeshift shack down by the water made of cardboard and decorated with the heads of Change-Me-Katie © dolls. Desperate for diversion, he wandered inside. He was instantly greeted by an Infernal Gloom who took his coat and hat. Seated in the middle of a room was a woman; she was dressed in a tattered navy blue power suit and sneakers. BJ got the impression she had cut her own hair. She was flicking lit matches onto the furniture, and when BJ walked in she looked up. “Seven” she said. “Excuse me?” said BJ. “Seven, I said. I prefer it to hello. It breaks the ice.” she said. “Oh. Seven,” said BJ. “Match?” she asked. “No, thank you,” said BJ. “You know, I was like you once,” she said, tossing a match onto the sofa. “Career. Husband. Career. I had it all,” she said, lobbing a match onto an end table. “What happened?” said BJ. “I acquired a taste for human brains. A rare condition, but not as rare as you’d think. It gets virtually no press,” she said firing a match into the drapes. “That's understandable” said BJ. “Things fell apart pretty quickly after that. First it was the postman, then my boss, then finally my husband. I was just getting into different recipes before I had to leave two: sautees, curries, tempuras. I had just discovered a great recipe for Brains Au Jous . . . ” Just then the shack burst into flames and the rest of her speech was lost in the roar; but as BJ fled from the room, he thought he could hear her singing quietly to herself . . . [Psycho Killer] MIKE: Praise the Lord!!! CROWD: Praise the Lord!!! MIKE: Does not the psychotic freaking out purge the soul? Can I get an amen? CROWD: Amen! MIKE: Can I get a witness? CROWD: Witness! MIKE: Can I get a blintz, miss? CROWD: . . . Blintz, miss!!! MIKE: That’s right! Sometimes you have to take it all the way down the path of damnation, and flicked matches, and torched things, and Brain au Jous in order to purify, to clarify . . . to take a step off the insane roller-coaster-ride of life . . . and see what your real feelings are. So, our friend BJ, feeling drained, spent, and clear . . . MURRAY: . . . and wearing leiderhosen . . . MIKE: . . . went to the top of a high cliff, sat down, and watched the sun setting . . . and sang . . . [I Will Hold On] DAVE: Thank you. So, you want to know what happened to BJ next, don’t you? You’re curious about this guy, right? He’s got this girl, he’s travellin’ all over . . . CROWD: As long as he doesn’t cry . . . DAVE: He won’t cry. Well, he may cry . . . he’s a big man, but . . . MURRAY: He’s been crying almost the whole story. DAVE: . . . but big men sometimes cry. [In a British accent] Crying’s fantastic, actually. Crying’s an amazing capacity—lets all the toxins out, doesn’t it? As is so often the case with pining and lamenting and wishing things were different than they actually are, Rachael faded from BJ’s thoughts only to be replaced by a new source of sorrow; you know how you do that . . . you sock out and look for, you know, you get bored with whining about one thing and a new thing comes around. JIAN: Don’t try and make people try and relate to the story. DAVE: It’s common . . . it’s like Odysseus, isn’t it—it’s the travels. JIAN: Or Ulysseus DAVE: Or Ulysseus, as well, also. “Olysseus and the Golden Fleece,” wasn’t it? MIKE: I’m sorry—Mr. Matheson is certainly not being like Thisseus. DAVE: Ahem. As I was saying, Rachael faded from BJ’s thoughts only to be replaced by a new source of sorrow. You may wonder, well, what was that new source of sorrow? BJ became terribly homesick, you see; there he was thousands of miles from his own bed, thousands of miles from his own family, his own interactive CD-ROMs, and he was so bombed out that he considered packing it all in and heading home. [Homeward Bound] ------------------------------ End of alt.music.moxy-fruvous digest V3 #260 ********************************************